colorful LANGUAGE

I am human.  I occasionally use shall we say colorful words.  When I get really frustrated or in a heated discussion.  I am careful, usually, around my little boy and have just been super vigilant about my words of choice.  But because, as I started with, I am human, I sometimes make mistakes.  Language lapse we can call it.  Or brain fart.  Or careless.  And I can assure you that unfortunately my smart little 3 year old can use several colorful words completely appropriately when he gets hurt or mad or is just wanting to frustrate mommy.  And I work exceptionally hard at keeping my tongue in check knowing that he will repeat it.  And I remind the young people in my house that the words have to be clean and totally appropriate so that little ears and minds don't learn something they don't need. 

What is socially acceptable these days is surprising and troubling all at the same time.  What I could say in front of my grandparents or my mom is completely different from what young people today feel they can get away with.  And where do they learn it from?  I can blame TV or acceptance of bad words at home or school or anything.  But can "we" continue to accept it?  Can all of us collectively just shrug our shoulders and turn a blind eye (or ear)?  Is there a time for youth to express themselves in such harsh ways?

I have chosen to curb my own language.  And I work hard at keeping it "clean" in our home.  So imagine my surprise when at our local park a group of young people were "playing" some tag game and the language was not appropriate in any way for a 3 year old.  And for a bit I tried to ignore it.  Until Espen repeated it.  And suddenly I fear he believes that it is OK to use the words he is hearing.  The kids are... it must be OK. 

UH NO

So I speak up.  I ask the posse of youth to mind the words they use in front of the little ones.  It is after all a playground.  And for the most part they were kind and tried.  But one was brave and continued.  That one got my attention a little more.  And very quietly to the offender I suggested I follow him home and speak to his mom about his language in the park.  He was able to clean it up while we were there but managed to shoot a few choice words my direction when we were leaving. 

There was not once a thought in my mind that said I should take Espen home.  He wanted to play and play he should be able to do.  It should not matter who is at the park.   But I do not have to tolerate the words being used.  And maybe if more of us said something to the offenders the words we hear would be more gentle.  We should not be afraid to ask people to show some amount of respect.  We can not assume that they know when to be mindful, but we can ask them to be. 

I think "we" need to speak up.  We don't need to hear it on prime time TV, we don't need to hear it at a playground, we don't need to hear it on the radio, we don't need to hear it at the store or mall.  And we do and we accept it.  My son doesn't need to hear it at home.  I've cleaned my words.  I will speak up when we are in a public setting when my son is present.  Because if I don't who will?  I am not ashamed to ask people to stop so that we can protect the ears and minds of the littlest ones.  While I can not change what is on TV, I can change the channel or the station.  I will do my little part to keep my tiny tot in a good word zone!