Feb 21 ~ 2011
So Doug & I have the most amazing adoption story ever. And we are thankful for our experience & for Espen's birthmom. Today I got an email from her (we exchange email frequently) and she asked a question that I feel like sharing... she asked me if we ever regret adopting a mixed baby, if it is ever hard on us being white and if anyone ever makes comments that are hurtful. She had watched a movie where the adoptive parents decided at the last minute to not adopt a baby that was mixed. So I answered her and thought I'd share that too...
Doug & I never regret adoptiong Espen for any reason... he is honestly the BEST part of our lives & every single day we are thankful for him & love him so very much. We don't have a clue about what to do with his kinky curly hair so I ask people with similar hair! And we learn. Some days it is challenging because people judge (be honest, EVERYONE DOES IT). People are always curious about our family and if they are curious enough to ask, we tell them about how we were so fortunate to adopt him. If they never ask, we just ignore them. No one in our family says anything... they only see Espen & how happy he is and how happy Doug & I are. We are a cute little family! We actually have talked about adopting another baby someday and we would at this point prefer another mixed child. I hope someday we can afford another baby, but if not, we haven't got any regrets at all. I am so sad for those people who felt they didn't want to adopt a mixed baby. It makes me sad to about how people are.... but they have to do what they think is right at the moment. We talked alot with our families & each other about it before Espen was born. For some, I imagine it is just not an option and that is to bad. And how horrible for that birth mom to suddenly feel like her baby is not good enough and not wanted.... oh that is so sad... We have no regrets... but because we are white I work harder at making sure I know how to care for his hair & skin, I get him toys with mixed people, he has a black baby doll, we make sure he has a variety of things in a variety of colors & sizes!! We are aware of situations when he is the only child of another race, we are aware of the sterotyping that will face him & us for the rest of our lives and we work to make sure he has a great foundation and lots of love around him so that he is always secure with himself & in our family. And we just love him!!
We are happy to share our amazing journey... it is amazing. We are happy to share our cute & flustering stories. Our lives are blessed beyond measure with Espen. And we are happy to share that happiness!!
Doug & I never regret adoptiong Espen for any reason... he is honestly the BEST part of our lives & every single day we are thankful for him & love him so very much. We don't have a clue about what to do with his kinky curly hair so I ask people with similar hair! And we learn. Some days it is challenging because people judge (be honest, EVERYONE DOES IT). People are always curious about our family and if they are curious enough to ask, we tell them about how we were so fortunate to adopt him. If they never ask, we just ignore them. No one in our family says anything... they only see Espen & how happy he is and how happy Doug & I are. We are a cute little family! We actually have talked about adopting another baby someday and we would at this point prefer another mixed child. I hope someday we can afford another baby, but if not, we haven't got any regrets at all. I am so sad for those people who felt they didn't want to adopt a mixed baby. It makes me sad to about how people are.... but they have to do what they think is right at the moment. We talked alot with our families & each other about it before Espen was born. For some, I imagine it is just not an option and that is to bad. And how horrible for that birth mom to suddenly feel like her baby is not good enough and not wanted.... oh that is so sad... We have no regrets... but because we are white I work harder at making sure I know how to care for his hair & skin, I get him toys with mixed people, he has a black baby doll, we make sure he has a variety of things in a variety of colors & sizes!! We are aware of situations when he is the only child of another race, we are aware of the sterotyping that will face him & us for the rest of our lives and we work to make sure he has a great foundation and lots of love around him so that he is always secure with himself & in our family. And we just love him!!
We are happy to share our amazing journey... it is amazing. We are happy to share our cute & flustering stories. Our lives are blessed beyond measure with Espen. And we are happy to share that happiness!!
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