Crying Jag

Let's be honest.... occasionally we all have bad days and for reasons that seem unclear we are upset by the smallest issues.  I woke up tired.  I had a sore back.  I have a list of things I NEED to do... like mail a couple boxes, send thank you cards for the birthday celebration, clean the upstairs and put some things away that are piling up on me.  And there are some things I WANT to do like take Espen to a class at the zoo, check out the sand sculptures, spend some time making memories and pictures with Anders so that Espen has those over the long period of time when he won't have Anders....

Before I even had breakfast or coffee, I was crying.  I was already chasing my son.  I was tired.  I just couldn't help it.  I am thankful for the men in my life who tolerate the meltdown while wondering what in the heck happened.  I am glad for being hugged and helped all day. It of course didn't help with the tears.  Or the frantic feeling.  But I made it... and honestly, it is what we all do.... we make it.  Some days are better than others.  We all deal with our stress, our anger, our frustrations differently.  And today my way was crying.

I pulled it through... I stopped for a few minutes and went for a 3/4 mile run over the trail. Yes it hurt like hell but I did it...Then before I had to go to work, I took my boys to Omaha and we saw the sand sculptures.  It was colder than I think it should be but we saw some really cool sand sculpture!  And I got tickets to a swimming competition next weekend.  I wanted to take them, especially Espen, to see professional swimmers.  And I quickly made dinner.  And I went to work.  And I feel better.  I intend to go home & watch a movie, have an adult beverage and relax. 

A crying jag or what ever kind of jag you have is not special to just me.  We all have a weakness.  We all feel broken some days.  Every single one of us has a "bad" day.  And every single one of us has an opportunity to pull the brakes on a bad day.  I told someone today I looked like a train wreck, I felt like I was on the train and I was getting ready to wreck & I just could not stop it.  And yet I did.  And for that I am thankful.  I did enjoy some time today.  I did smile.  And I will get up tomorrow feeling better and more positive.  Because I have to... because the alternative is another day like today and that is frightening....