Taking Care of YOU

In the last week, I have seen parents yell at, yank and hit their children.  In public.  For things that seemed insignificant.  I may not know all of the story about the situation but I was witness to these situations in entirety.  Riding bikes through the mud, getting shoes dirty, using the handicap button to open a door, talking.

And I know.  I have been a harsh parent at times.  Especially times when safety was of concern.  I have yelled.  Spanked.  Yanked out of the way.  I have done it.  It never makes me feel like a good person or a good parent.  But in THAT moment.... That moment of such stress, frustration, aggravation, anger and fear it just comes.

Those moments are the lowest of moments.  They compromise the darkest times of parenting.  The broken moments when you lash out at a small human because you have lost your mind are the bleakest. They are the worst moments and you can not take them back.

I am not perfect.  I have lost my patience and mind recently because of crazy situations in which there was carelessness, disrespect and flat out defiance resulting in frantic out of control moments.  I have been so afraid for his safety the best I could do was yank him back to me.  We are not a perfect family.

Witnessing these bleak moments in others makes me incredibly thankful for the ability to recognize my own behaviors.  I am resolved to find better solutions, have more patience and be less harsh.

Here is what I know to be true... that taking care of a child is hard work.  (Yes, yes there are many rewards and joys that is not what this is about right now).  Parenting is constant and unrelenting.  It is thankless and demanding.  These moments of incredible difficulty are a part of life for families.  Minimizing them takes control and structure. It takes all your will power, patience and strength.  The best way for patiently enduring the hardest times is self care.  It doesn't make you selfish... it makes you healthy and gives your child the best parts of you.  And honestly, that is all we can hope for... to be the best adult we can be so that we can give unconditionally to our children.  Because they need that...

So today as I go about my day, I am thankful for great family and friends that find joy even in the terrible moments with me, the amazing studio I have had help creating, the ability to get outside for a walk, the quirky interesting book I find hard to put down and sweet tea.  You see, the thing we do for ourselves does not have to be giant... it can be the smallest of things... but we need to stop and just be in that moment and let the rest go... just for a moment take care of yourself.