Not for the weak... don't read if you get queasy fast...

I have had 2 extreme events happen to me in 2 days... I just can't take much more.

Yesterday (in all my excitement to tell you about my lunch date) I forgot that I had my first "Poop in the TUB" experience & it was not just in the tub. We got home from the pool & I thought we should get a quick bath before dinner (always want to be clean for dinner). I put Espen in about an inch of water & jump in the shower (yea yea yea... my shower door is glass & faces the tub). I am about 45 seconds in the water and I see he is sitting quietly playing with something. I see there are other things in the water with him and suddenly the smell hits me..... HE POOPED in the tub. So I snatch him up, shake the poo out of his little hand, wrap him in a towel and put him on the floor next to me. There is not as much poo as I had thought 2 hard lumps ~ the rest sand & dirt from the pool & day. At this point we really have to take a bath before dinner.

Puente the dog was in the bathroom with us. I'm naked, Espen is naked & poopy and I am trying not to laugh or cry. My creative little boy escapes the towel & I think well he has already pooped I'll let him play with Puente. (A side note here.... I have been trying to switch Espen to cow milk & had been putting half/half until a couple days ago because the extreme constipation was back. So the last couple days he was only having formula & there was prune juice in every bottle. The poor baby has since birth suffered extreme constipation and it HURTS so bad he doesn't go for days.) As I am getting the tub cleaned of debris I hear a funny sound. I look over at Espen who is sitting on a pile of Doug's dirty dress clothes from a business trip and he was NOT done pooping.... and the constipation is OVER.... all over Doug's clothes. The baby must have felt totally relieved....

So now I have poo in the tub, on the dog, on the dress clothes and ALL over Espen because he thought it was fun to play in. I am grossed out & crying. I scoop him up and put him in the shower and close the door so he can't escape. I clean off the dog & send him out. I make a manageable pile of the work clothes getting as much up & into the toliet as I can all the while trying to soothe a scared little boy trapped in a shower stall with no water. When I open the door to get him I see he is covered in it and my shower is also. So I turn on the water and get in with him... I clean us both up and the shower & pray that Doug will come home any second. No Luck on that... We finally are clean enough for dinner & we are both calmer after we enjoy some food together....

Then after Espen goes to bed I gather myself together & head to the bathroom to scrub it down when Doug comes home.... and has the nerve to ask me what I've been doing all day..... and then I cry... and clean the bathroom....
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Tonight I was just finishing watching the news. Doug was at work. I was getting annoyed with Twitch playing with something. I thought he had one of my hair ties. Peso was bothered by him too and went to inspect the situation. When Peso started jumping around I thought I'd better go check it out.

To my dreaded surprise Twitch was playing with what looked like a cockroach. I had my phone in hand & snapped a photo of it. It was a slow moving thing and HUGE and I was FREAKING OUT. (I can't stress that enough~ I was FREAKING). I don't do bugs very well. So I ran to the kitchen & grabbed some floor cleaner as I couldn't think of anything else. I squirted him a few times & he seemed to slow down more. Twitch was bored with it so he left me to it. Peso was gone too. When I came back with a stick THE BUG WAS GONE.... OHHH I freaked. I don't do bugs.

I carefully searched. I didn't find him. The dogs thought I was insane. I didn't find it. I thought perhaps one of them ate it while I was looking for my stick. I took the dogs outside for a couple. When we came back in I was standing there watching a skit on Saturday Night Live before I turned the TV off when I was dive bombed by that bug. My stick was close so when that beast landed on the wall, I aimed and got him square on... he fell off the wall & landed at my feet. Still moving I wacked him a time or 2. When he stopped moving I grabbed a baggie & prayed & scooped him into the baggie and carried him to the garage. I swear if he escapes that baggie I am leaving Nebraska. My stick was the tennis ball thrower for the dogs. So it was a curvy, small piece to hit the bug with. My aim is pretty good!! Maybe I should be on a team!!!

I am in my bed praying that the beast stays in the baggie and that Espen has an eased tummy. :)

I couldn't make my life up..... I go from crazy to crazier....

Now just some side notes.... that make me smile...
I am so thankful for our friends in Norway.... it is always a pleasure to talk to them either on the phone, online or with a text message. I miss them & wish the distance and expense weren't so great.

And there is a town & company here named aksarben. It makes me smile every time I see it because I think of a HARRY POTTER movie... Well I keep mentioning to Doug that this is a Harry Potter community. Today he simply told me "You know that is nebraska spelled backwards?" ~ well HELLO ~ I DID NOT. That made me laugh because who is that clever to name a town the state spelled backwards.... HAHEHAEH I am of course going to go there!

hankful for such great friends in Norway...