Fighting Depression

Two weeks ago my little boy temporarily "lost" his best friend, his buddy, his partner, his confidant.  My child loves unconditionally and has known this kind of love.  He has felt strong arms hold him in play and comfort.  He has had stories read and made up.  He has had fears quieted.  He has had grand adventures and quiet moments.  He has laughed like a monkey and cried like a baby.  He has had his bumps and scrapes "fixed".  And for much of the last 2 years he has felt the comfort from this individual.   And even though we gave him some days of preparation and let him say goodbye at the airport he was sure that it was just for a little while.  The next time he gets to see his best friend is in December (we hope). 

Two weeks is a long time for a three year old.  He has no concept of 6 months and tells me he will go to airport on Thursday to get his friend and bring him home.  He is not managing his loss as we imagined he would.  Honestly, we had no idea how he would react in the long term.  He is not sleeping very well.  In fact for 2 weeks he has quietly gone to bed in his bed but comes into my bed around 3am and becomes terrified and frantic when I take him back to his room.  He tells me he can't sleep alone because it is lonely and sad.  I have been letting him stay and encouraging him to stay in his comfortable bed with his loveys.  He is grouchy and tearful.  He cries easily and for no reason.  He is not motivated to do much.  He has a hard time listening (but that is because he is 3!).  He is angry and very easily provoked to be naughty or mean.  His appetite is missing.  He doesn't want to be alone.  He attaches most days to some object his friend left behind from wearing an adult size t-shirt to carrying a remote helicopter around all day.  He finds great comfort in a special candy his friend likes.  He gets mad when things his friend left all over the house are moved or put away.  He cries when we do things we last did with his friend.  He is struggling.  And as best as I can figure, my baby is depressed over his "loss". 

And every day I do my best to make it right.  I let him pretend play.  I let him get upset in a constructive way.  When warranted, I let him cry.  I let him wear shirts and carry pictures and objects.  I let him snuggle with me in the middle of the night and wipe his tears away.  We encourage him to color pictures and we mail them.  We encourage skype calls.  We have pictures.  We talk about fun memories.  We talk and check days off a calendar for when we will see his best friend. 
To think that attachment and separation anxiety are not powerful emotions for a 3 year old is to think you can swim across the Atlantic.  I only pray every day that I am handling it positively.  I love him and love on him.  He struggles and I love him.  I encourage skype calls because it makes them both feel good.... I encourage him to use his own words to tell me how he feels.  I let him be who he is; in the space he is in.  He can still get excited for small things... like ice cream, a trip to the zoo, rollerblading.... but he also remembers doing all those things with someone he loves and his mind takes over and he gets withdrawn or naughty.  I pray for some miracle to reunite them sooner but know it is probably not realistic.  I want my baby to be less depressed and more himself. 

Honestly, I want him to have his friend.... they are good for each other....a real bond that is incredibly special... and for a lifetime...