Sleep

I need sleep.  My little boy, unfortunately, has developed a disruptive habit.  He crawls into bed with me every night.  I often don't know he has gotten in bed until I get really hot.  I frequently put him back into his bed.  And sometimes he sleeps through and sometimes he comes back.

This behavior started after Anders left. He was sad or lonely or confused.  I thought it would wear itself out and he would just stay asleep.  It only gets worse.  He is coming in every night.  He goes to bed perfectly.  No issues putting him to bed.  At some point he snuggles in next to me and stays.

Last night he got into bed AWAKE.  He wanted to watch a movie.  And then he was chatty.  It was 1:30 am.  Mommy was not in mood for chatting!  I calmly and swiftly carried him to his bed, told him goodnight and left.  He SCREAMED.  It is not like my son to scream.  I stumbled back to bed.  I lay there listening to him and to what he was screaming.  After a couple minutes I broke and went to soothe him.

A mom just knows the difference between screams of play and panic.  My little boy was panicking.  He was screaming "mommy do not leave me", "mamma please come back".  By the time I get to him he was curled into the corner of his bed terrified.  He has a night light it was on.  He has lovies that were all in there.  He has a bink at night because I don't think it's the worst thing in the world.  And he had a hockey helmet in the bed (just don't ask!). But my child was in panic mode.  So I got into the bed with him and calmed him. He finally curled into me and quieted.  And he slept eventually.

But I did not.  And I need sleep.   I have tried it all.  And I am not going to make him afraid of sleeping.  He can have night lights and lovies and music.  But mommy needs some uninterrupted sleep!  He wakes up and wants to engage me..... And I just want to sleep!

I think I should take him to Norway and let Anders have him while I sleep!  Or I could just let it run it's course and resign myself  to having him in bed.  It is much less distracting to leave him then to take him back to his bed.  But anyway it happens I need to figure out a way for uninterrupted sleep.  Because I am wearing down...