Imperfect Life
I have an imperfect life. I love fiercely. I smile often. I try hard. I budget. I struggle. I cook, clean and do laundry just like everyone else. I laugh. I dream. I want. I hug. I worry. I yell. I cry. And like so many of you, I imagine a future full of enough money to not worry, love to sustain me and laughter to ring through my house. I live with no regrets about yesterday... but hope for tomorrow. I've worked really hard with several counselors to learn to LIVE IN THIS MOMENT. It is always easier to wish for what you had or hurry along to the next thing.
This year started off with a GIANT BANG... and I yelled... cried... stressed... wished... prayed...
I'm in an imperfect life. I live in a weird bubble. Sure other families have weird... but this is like a tornado of strange! And I learn to just accept or adjust. Many days it is like driving full speed to the edge of a cliff and hoping your brakes hold. And then one day they don't. There is no way to stop the free fall off the cliff... no way to go back... and no parachute to soften the landing.
It can only get better... or it will get different..... or it will get much worse but I will adjust. And I will make laughter ring through my home and it will be full of joy and dreams and imagination!
I'm free falling I have had time to just think. And decided that I needed both head and heart to clear of the struggles. I started running until I stopped thinking. Doing it more often because then I am clear headed for the next issue. I throw pots until my hands are cracked up from the water and clay. I have committed to three things right now.... my beautiful son, making really great pots and running.
I have lined up a race a month starting in March. Some of them I think I can find my running partner to do with me! Two I think I am crazy for committing to. I don't have a team or a partner (I may be crazy) but I am paid and committed to doing them. And I've started the long arduous process of training for these big races. I am going to run a TOUGH MUDDER, a SPARTAN run, the WARRIOR DASH, the MUD FACTOR, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES and a few local ones and maybe one in OK with my sisters. (bold are paid for already).... If you care to join me at any of these... I will welcome a "team"!!
Maybe in the run or the mud, my head and heart will clear and I will again find peace in my imperfect life.
This year started off with a GIANT BANG... and I yelled... cried... stressed... wished... prayed...
I'm in an imperfect life. I live in a weird bubble. Sure other families have weird... but this is like a tornado of strange! And I learn to just accept or adjust. Many days it is like driving full speed to the edge of a cliff and hoping your brakes hold. And then one day they don't. There is no way to stop the free fall off the cliff... no way to go back... and no parachute to soften the landing.
It can only get better... or it will get different..... or it will get much worse but I will adjust. And I will make laughter ring through my home and it will be full of joy and dreams and imagination!
I'm free falling I have had time to just think. And decided that I needed both head and heart to clear of the struggles. I started running until I stopped thinking. Doing it more often because then I am clear headed for the next issue. I throw pots until my hands are cracked up from the water and clay. I have committed to three things right now.... my beautiful son, making really great pots and running.
I have lined up a race a month starting in March. Some of them I think I can find my running partner to do with me! Two I think I am crazy for committing to. I don't have a team or a partner (I may be crazy) but I am paid and committed to doing them. And I've started the long arduous process of training for these big races. I am going to run a TOUGH MUDDER, a SPARTAN run, the WARRIOR DASH, the MUD FACTOR, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES and a few local ones and maybe one in OK with my sisters. (bold are paid for already).... If you care to join me at any of these... I will welcome a "team"!!
Maybe in the run or the mud, my head and heart will clear and I will again find peace in my imperfect life.
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